Loss

She may be gone, but she will forever be in our hearts.

Loss is never an easy thing. In fact it very well may be the most difficult thing to come to grips with. 6 years ago today I lost my Mom to pancreatic cancer. She was the absolute strongest person I have ever known because during her 2 year fight she never once complained or expressed a “woe is me” attitude.

When she passed away I was, of course, heartbroken beyond words. I just lost my Mom and wasn’t ready for her to leave this world. More so than myself I was worried about my little brothers. I had gotten to spend 20 years with her, but they were only 12 and 10 years old. Losing a parent at such a young age is terrible. Nothing can prepare you for it and the longing in your heart to share your daily accomplishments or a hug never goes away.

Adam and Tim, my brothers, though have grown into incredible young men. Adam just began college and in my mind I know our Mom was sitting right there with him on his first day. Such a big step and I cannot believe he has gotten so old. Tim is a sophmore in high school, but he has a talent with words that far exceeds his years as you will soon see…stay tuned. They have been able to grow because of the strong support structure we have in our family.

When you lose someone it is extremely important to have a storng support structure. Our Dad has been our rock for a very long time and he kept it together for us even though I know he hurts inside too. My aunt Mary Lou has been a second Mom to us by lending an ear, helping me try and lose weight, and just being there for us whenever we need. Our Granny was always right there when we needed her for a chat, a night out to eat, or just to sit with and watch a ballgame. Miss Leigh, whom my Dad married in 2010, has taken it upon herself to treat us just like she treats her own children and loves us just the same.There have been many people that have supported us since our Mom passed and I cannot thank them enough for all the have done.

Kimala Freeman Respess
June 16, 1963 – August 31, 2006
She may be gone, but she will never be forgotten.

I miss you. I love you. Your son, Alex

My Hero, My Mom

During her battle with cancer, but never without a smile

Today, August 31, 2011, marks the 5 year anniversary that my Mom, Kim Respess, left this Earth. After a 2 year battle with cancer she lost the fight 5 years ago today, but even though she is not here anymore she is still in the hearts of all of us that knew and loved her. Let me tell you a little bit about my hero…

She was born in Raleigh, North Carolina on June 16, 1963 to Ralph and Glena Freeman. She is the youngest of three girls (Donna and Abbey her older sisters), but that is just the general stuff. My Mom never once met a stranger. She could talk to any and everybody and it blew my mind. We would be in line at Wal-Mart and she would be striking up a conversation with whoever happened to be around. She loved dogs and throughout my 25 years we have had a number of them Shana, Chesney, Chewy (he looked just like Chewbacca from Star Wars), Chancey, Chester, Yoda, Scooby Doo, Cookie Monster, Angel, Cinnamon, Isabella, and Jackson. She loved to read and play video games (she dominated Ocarina of Time!). My little brothers and her would spend loads of time playing Gauntlet Legends on the Nintendo 64. She loved to cross stitch (I still have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles one she did for me). Her favorite movies were Breakfast Club and Beetlejuice. She loved to watch TV, but most of all she loved us. She would do anything in her power to make us happy.

I can remember one time for Easter she gave me a coupon book. It had different things in it she came up with like go to the batting cages with Dad one day or get out of doing the dishes one night. I remember using one to go with her to see Indian in the Cupboard at a theater that no longer exists. Around Christmas in 1994 when The Santa Claus came out my Dad, Mom, and I went to see it at the theater (also not there anymore) by Gwinnett Place Mall. We would sit at the kitchen table and play Yahtzee! and peanut. It really is strange the memories you hang on to.

When she got sick it was a shock to us all and pancreatic cancer usually takes whoever it has a hold of very quickly, but my Mom was strong! She fought it for two long years. Over those two years I never once heard her complain about the pain even though I know it had to be ungodly. She never once asked, “Why me?” She just fought and stayed strong. If we were all half as strong as her, then we could move mountains. When she was in the hospital and had all the tubes coming out of her she was comforting me because I couldn’t bear to see my Mom like that. It hurt so much to know that she was in pain and that I was going to lose her. She was the best! I know that she is in a better place and free of pain, but every single day I miss her.

My Dad wrote a blog about her fight http://kimsbattle.blogspot.com/ go read it. It shows just what the battle with cancer looks like up close.

I miss you. I love you.
Your Son,
Alex